Wednesday, October 27, 2010

What A Crazy Haunted House...

OH boy so last night we went to the most insane haunted house ever. It's in Manhattan and it was really crazy. But that's getting ahead of myself.

So I met up with boss-Dan and we drove up to NYC to pick up Nick in the morning, and then we drove another hour north through New York state to get to a town called Coram in the middle of nowhere to watch a horror movie that came out called I Spit On Your Grave, a very limited release and that was the closest showing. It's a horror movie that is totally ridiculous movie from the 70s, but they remade it and it is a very big movie everyone at work watches because it's boss-Dan's favorite horror movie so we wanted to make the special trip to see the remake. It actually was a very decent movie I was surprised. The theater was this strange little tiny shit-hole theater called "Movieland" but the seats in there were amaaazzziiing giant leather seats. SO COMFY. It was funny too every theater had a like promo image with the title of the movie above it except this one, which was just written in marker hahaha.

After the movie we went back to NYC to get in line for the standby entrance of this crazy sounding haunted house. The line was just by this closed up building and the entrance had black garbage bag over it so you cant see inside, we stood out there and were told there was only a slim chance of getting in, and only for the first 10 people or so. Luckily after the bulk of people ahead of us left (when being told we could be waiting up to 4 hours - which we did end up waiting) the three of us were numbers 4, 5, and 6 in line. We got into the lobby and waited there for 4 hours hanging out and talking to the people near us in the standby line and just having a fun time really. The room was dark, there was a desk with a lamp on it, and behind just a wall of black garbage bags so you cant see whats inside. You would hear funny muffled noises and screams, and every so often someone would come running out of the exit with strange things going on, like their shoes off and thrown behind them, face masks on, things on their ears, fake blood on their face, etc. It was hilarious and really made me want to get in even more. But things looked very bleak for us. BUT finally, half an hour before closing we got called up and got in. Nick had already left though :( Poor Nick... but Dan and I got in! It was.... interesting.

So basically, you have to sign a waiver before going in that you understand what could happen and stuff and sign your life away. You go in, and stand in a waiting area where they pump fog in and have a strobe light so they essentially disorient you by making you seen nothing but white and black flashes for 10 minutes. Then a masked man in the dark shines a light in your eye, grabs your arm, says COME WITH ME and pulls you violently out of the room. He keeps the light in your eyes so you cant see (everything is pitch black) and asks you questions like do you have epilepsy, will you do EVERYTHING you are told etc. He also said to us You sure waited a long time for this (4 hours you bet we did asshole!) haha it was funny. Then he pushes you in a room against a wall and you have to follow these strings on the wall in pitch black. Until you suddenly feel fingers in the string, then your pulled away and forced into a chair. From then on, basically your most of the time in pitch black and literally pushed and pulled places and they whisper things for you to do in your ear. You have to wear a face mask (like a doctor one) and you have to do what they tell you. I had to crawl through this tube, I had people grab onto me and pull me, I had lights flashed in my eyes, strange things happen, air guns shot at me, then I was made to go down a staircase where there was light again for the rest of it.

There was this supposed-to-be-creepy girl there who like puts these things on your ear lobes, I think it was just masking tape, then she smears blood on your face (mostly on the mask but it went on my face too) and walks you into another room where another girl jumps out and grabs you and pulls you away and puts you in a chair in a warehouse-y room with a single light bulb dangling above you. She then pretends to do weird things to you like lick the back of your head and stable gun you (shoots a real but empty stable gun on the back of your neck and your stomach and stuff) and then takes off one of your shoes and sock. Then she pushes you into a hallways and you walk down realizing there is weird shit like condoms on the ground and a tv that shows you walking towards it with her following you with glowing eyes (the TV looked super creepy and awesome, I loved that part). Then your bagged over your head and thrown in a corner on your knees and hangs tied behind your back with earmuffs on (think like a terrorist, black bag on head and tied up) And left there for a few minutes. Then the guy comes and tells you to scream, then yells "scream fucking louder!" Then the bag is removed, your untied, and pushed into another room - the super surprising and weird conclusion. You emerge in a room with shoes all over the ground, a mattress, and on the mattress a naked black guy raping a naked white body (too dark to tell if it was a guy or girl) He yells at you to get over there and you stand on the X around the corner, out of view. But there is a mirror on your right where you can see sort of what is happening. It was... uncomfortable. But it got more uncomfortable. I mean obviously this whole time everything is fake so I'm not concerned I'm just enjoying the show, its weird but I was laughing a lot. And obviously there is no real rape going on. But they are naked, they are simulating it, it's kinda gross. But then the guy "finishes" and comes over to me, but first pretends to put something in my shoe on the ground (I'm assuming at this point, why else are they bothering with the shoe thing since my shoe has been missing for some time and it was a black shoe like he had) and then grabs me and pulls me over. Then he tells me to lay on the bed, which had a bloody not moving naked (now I see woman) on it. More uncomfortable - this place is finally managing to get creepy. So I do, and it's weird, and he starts like sitting on the bed staring at me (he has the creepiest face: good actor choice!) then the girl screams HELP ME and like jumps up and claws at me (Totally some boobage flopping on me, it's not cheating on you I didn't do it! lol) and all I'm thinking is "please please do NOT touch me naked man! I don't want your penis!" so that really came out of left field lol. Then he pulled me away from her and told me to GET OUT! and threw my shoe at me. I grab it and turn a corner and are told by a woman with a flashlight to remove my mask and wash my hands and pushed into a shity little bathroom. I remove my masking laughing a little and then get pulled out by someone and told WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?! GET OUT! And literally pushed out the exit (hence why every single person ran out). It was very interesting, weird, uncomfortable, sadly not scary, but I'm glad I went it was crazy.

After that we went back to Nick's apartment and hung out watching Saw 5 and 6 with Nick Justine and Maureen, and Dan showed up later drunk. It was very funny. He started putting on his Hercules Halloween costume he got that night and was giggling, but sadly he passed out before he put the skirt on. Then we drove home and I passed out at4 am when I was finally in bed hence why this is going up now instead of last night lol. It was crazy! I wish you could have come to the haunted house!

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